I think we all know what it means to be an emotional eater. We eat our emotions. We feel sad, we eat. Things are happy, we eat. I deserve it after all I been through. I have been one of those people but it seemed that when I was overwhelmed with sadness or a sense of defeat, I would not just eat too much, I would eat destructively as well. What do I mean? I would eat those things that would make me sick. For example, I am a diabetic and I would eat candy bars. Then my sugars would be out of control and I would be unwell for a few days. It wouldn’t just be sweets either. I don’t digest gluten very well, so I might eat a large bowl of pasta. The point is that I know my body and what foods it can handle. When I eat things that I know will harm me…that is destructive. The other thing I would do would be to increase my already high level of Diet Coke consumption. I already know the Diet Coke is bad for me but I try to keep it a minimum if I can. Some days are better than others. Stressful days are usually not good.
Well, the last few days have been incredibly difficult. I repeatedly thought it would be great to sit on the couch and eat a bag of chocolate chip cookie and a case of Diet Coke. But then I was able to stop that way of thinking. I reminded myself that I have been working too hard to get where I am at to let my emotions get the better of me. I needed to pull out my bag of tricks and use some of those instead. It was hard but I did it. I kept reminding myself that I desire to treat myself with respect and dignity. No cookies consumed or anything else that is not good for me. I even had less Diet Coke than usual.
Emotional eating has been a part of me and my pattern for dealing with life’s stresses for a very long time. In the past I would have kept it in the dark, sneaking around to hurt myself. But no more, I am too valuable to be doing that. It took a long time to learn and I still need reminders. But I can mark today off as a victorious one!
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